The temperature will hover in the mid-30s – just cold enough for the snow to safely stick, but no colder. The breeze will be sufficient to make cheeks rosy, but will not slash at the skin or penetrate down the necks of parkas.
For the better part of the day, the snow will continue – gently, never blinding. By the time it ceases for good shortly before midnight, two to four inches will have fallen – just enough, perhaps, to permit sledding.
This is the Times saying they’re in on the joke, right? Right?